Am I crazy? Or I am not crazy?

Am I really crazy or not?

Let’s begin with a little issue I have, I went to the doctor and said to me I have a psychotic episode, after that, they changed their minds saying I am bipolar, and I was like ok but I don’t feel different at all…

First of all, I was diagnosed with psychotic episodes after that they put it in the psychotic episode with influences in schizophrenia and after that, they told me I was bipolar. Can they make up their minds? What do I have, am I really crazy? Can I take a test saying I am not crazy? How do they judge when they put the stamp calling someone insane for having his own beliefs? How do you tell a person is crazy or not, how can they judge you like that? How do they know for real? How can they be 100% sure that I have a psychotic episode or schizophrenia or I am bipolar, how can they tell for real? I am just as normal as you are, am I afraid? Yes, I am, do you want to know why? Because people have this ability to stock their finger in your face and tell you you are insane for believing different than them, If I believe in Buddha and my father believes in Jesus what is the point in all this, am I the insane one or he is? You can never truly tell if a person is insane or not do you know why? Because that person has it’s own beliefs and it’s own judging capacity, nobody wants to be in a stray jacket, nobody wants to be locked down or to be tied to a bed, nobody wants to be isolated in a building because they say you are insane. Nobody wants to sit in jail, nobody wants to be insane, everybody wants to be free ok?

This is for real if they tell you that you are insane or they diagnose yourself with a mental disease you are probably going to get locked up. They treat you like you are in a penitentiary, you are not allowed to call or have any contact with the outside world, you just sit there with a bunch of crazy people (just like you) and stare at the walls, of the building, they say you are insane to have a reason to tie you up, to lock you up like in prison saying you are a threat to society. Is that even true? I mean I didn’t hurt anybody but there I am locked in a mental hospital because I choose to have my own rights and privileges, because I wanted to make a change, because I wanted to show people there are many ways you can view a problem, but people are so limited man you can never tell if he’s actually speaking the truth or even lying to oneself…

The beer is restricted I am not allowed to drink alcohol, I am not allowed to drive, I have to take medicine in the morning and by nightfall. I usually take my medicine at about 8:30 am, and the other one at about 9 pm.

I take pills in the morning and I take pills at night so I can sleep better, lol.

Like I have a problem man this is insane how people judge you, do you sleep, do you believe, do you breathe? How can somebody tell me I am insane if all I do is mind my own business, people should research this on the web, I’m not saying that doctors are bad I’m just saying that they are evil, they do not have the capacity to judge because it has been taken from them.

I don’t want to talk about stuff, ok?

please be patient with you

Sometimes is better to a hut up and close your eyes, turn the other cheek around just so you don’t hurt people who loved you, not in my case naah, words can hurt and will hurt if you let them.

Sometimes is better to just mind your own business and don’t hurt anybody sometimes it’s better to be the sheep than the Shepherd or just make it look that way anyway, nobody knows what you are thinking right? Well, we all are here on earth to prove something right?

We are here to prove who’s the alpha male, to prove yourself to the community to prove you are the best, ain’t we alpha males?

Well, we all would want that, but what if we ain’t got it in us to be the alpha male? What if we are the sheep and the alpha male is out there roaming around, what if we ain’t good enough for them?

I’m here to prove you wrong, you are good enough you just don’t know it yet, you just let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good, and when things get hard you look for something to blame like a big shadow that you see on different people’s faces.

You just do that because you think you ain’t good enough for this world that we live in, and I’m here to tell you that you are probably right, you may not be good enough today, but I promise you if you work hard on your goals and dreams you might make it one day, maybe that day is not today but someday you might actually make it and you will shout to the world “Thank You God” because without you I would be nothing at all.

This sums up my response to, sometimes it’s better to shut up than give in to people who don’t value or respect you, just shut up and show them your results instead of just talking about results, just show them 👍

Keep the peace brothers and sisters because I’m coming home ❤

Let the pain out

Sometimes survival mechanisms pop-out into nothing, sometimes survival mechanisms control us, we are still part animals part mammals part human, part cyborg, we use this technology for our benefit, not for our destruction, we need to benefit from this, either financially or horoscopically, we need to get things done like right now.

We must wake up, wake up from this matrix, wake up to the universe, wake up to the star seed, we are the star seeds and we must survive at all costs, we must reproduce we must flourish we must live to see another day we must get up in the morning and go to work, work for your cause, work for your ambition, work for your inner being, work on anything that you love and care about.

We must go to work, that is the pain I feel. That I have to work to survive, if I didn’t work I would be a loser with no job or a car or an apartment, I would be homeless, that is my biggest fear and regret anyway, that I would end up homeless without a car, a wife or a job.

This writing keeps me up late at night knowing that everything is going to be alright and I don’t have to starve to death in my late years.

My parents will leave me they will go to the countryside they might die also, maybe unexpectedly or maybe from old age, I don’t know.

I wish my parents will live to see me get well and have a home a family and children.

Wish my family would see me as a father and not a kid, I wish they would understand that I am not like a common kid, I’m not like everybody, I am myself, I am a Starseed.

I wish I could tell you guys about this, in my late teens I had a mental breakdown and from that my parents thought I was crazy and they took me to the hospital several times until now and they think I am a lunatic and they yell at me and shout because I am different from them because I have my own cause to fight for because I have my own pain, my own karma, my own life, I can be independent you know.

I live life day by day trying to build something for my own, trying to build an empire from the ashes of a forgotten world, a forgotten country, and a forgotten man, I don’t care if anybody loves me, the pain I feel today is breaking me down to bits.

Life is hard when you have no one to talk to so this is why I am sending you this message, I live with my parents and my brother in an apartment in Romania, my dad is stupid, my mom is great, my brother ignores me, without regret.

My dad is shouting, he thinks I’m aloof, but to me, my dad is always the best, I still love him but he has some issues and problems he’s kind of old now and has a very negative thinking method, he is always ready to go to war he always wants to brag about me and how much I smoke, he says that I smoke his money, that I don’t earn enough for me, that I am a wreck and crazy and stuff like that.

I will always love my dad no matter what, and I know in my heart that he is a good man but I have to keep some distance from him because I think he is a dangerous man.

He hit me once and I never want to go back to that, he shouts at me but I never raise my voice at him, I never say a word, you don’t get what you give, you can always get what you deserve.

This is the end of this story I hope you liked it.

Same old same old

Aren’t you afraid of doing the same stuff over and over again?

Walking the same path to work…

Doing on the same job you’ve been doing the last few years…

Eating the same old stuff you’ve been eating…

Drinking the same old beverages you’ve been drinking…

I just thought about something this afternoon while I was out.

Why do we stick up and are stuck up on the same old road to the neverland?

Why are we in the same place we used to be 5 years ago?

Why don’t we learn anything new each day.

Why don’t we experience something new each day.

They say true love is a blessing but I’m thinking more like of a marriage kind of love to be real now.

I’m thinking more like “Will you marry me?” Sounds like ” I need someone to get old with”

So when you marry I am just suggesting that you know and are responsible enough for your actions sort of speak.

Marriage is not a loss in fact it is a gift not all of us may share with each other.

Marriage is just like eating a pie. You eat a bit see how it taste if you like it you eat a lot more but if you don’t then it’s garbage can.

What am I saying here? The reason I am writing to you all of this is because my personal and first of all marriage proposal went terribly wrong I mean from fighting to calling on the police and pressing charges against one another is another way of viewing it.

This is what happened to me I don’t know for all of you how it went but me, in this position as I am today? I would be very careful and calculated before I marry I mean listen, there are two things you should be afraid of, the first one is not getting into shape I mean not doing enough exercise or sports, and the second is not training your mind quite as much as you want to.

This brings me to the next chapter of my life which is :

  1. Sport.
  2. Reading.

One of these two I do a lot less than the other but I need to focus now on building and a lot less at destroying stuff around me, so here it goes.

Healthy thinking

To live to think and to act healthy and to live a healthy lifestyle in order for you to do that you have to go out and enjoy the ride because health is more important than the pleasure I can suggest the fact that I can walk and talk like a monk and be the same as Buddha as he was when he was living.
Buddha made me healthy and made me understand my pain
Buddha is the reason I am telling you this, deep meditation and focus can come after this, think straight with no mistakes it can be hard first but after some time it will be better than before.
The thing with relationships is that when you meet somebody is that the one you want?
I am thinking well maybe but is that the one I deserve, I will say maybe again, you cannot be even sure of a person before you meet her and that is the fact that I don’t judge, none, and no one.

Changes

I feel myself changing all the time, adapting to the environment in which I am.
No matter where you are you can adapt to change, it is futile to deny the fact that we all need this, in fact, it is in the human nature to change and adapt to his environment wherever you are, to live not to die.
Considering the fact that maybe we are unique in our own way I would like to call myself a Prophet of my time.
I would like to say that I am blessed with a voice not many of you have.
In fact, my voice sounds just like an echo.
In which voice do you trust? The good or the bad, the ups or the downs, the heaven or the hell?
You can tell someone to leave you alone but you cannot force somebody to listen to you.
This is my teaching to be a voice, not an echo in life.
We all have our own voices, we can say the truth or we can say nothing, this is the real truth in life.
If you cannot say the truth you should shut up until the truth is revealed to you in so many ways and forms.
I can congratulate so many of you for succeeding but I need to congratulate myself first in order for me to do my own work.
I have an ethical mind you know.

No ordinary

I am not your ordinary friend, I am not your ordinary dude, I am great, I am the greatest, I am the best, I am the most beautiful person you will ever meet, I am the God of all men and women, no matter the race or skin color I am the God of all life and living beings cone to me for peace quiet and love to all mankind.
I am the King of all, I am the universe combo ed into one entity
I am the one.
I am visible public and sharing with you guys my own knowledge and experiences.
This is my life, I am the ruler of my own life, this is my path, I am the ruler of my own path and my own way, I am the ruler of my own destiny.
If I fail you all fail with me, so never give up on your dreams no matter how big they may be.

Forgiveness

When I find forgiveness I find my own soul.
I speak from my own soul, my own vibe, my own identity.
When I forgive I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
When I forgive I feel like the world turns around to me.
When I forgive I feel like this planet earth is my home and I want to save it and protect it from harm and evil.
When I forgive I think about my appearance and whether I am beautiful or not this is the way I am.
When I forgive you I will stay by your side forever.
When I forgive you I will help you forever.
When I forgive you I will cherish every moment with you by my side.
When I forgive you I will stop doing you wrong.
When I feel the need to forgive somebody I feel the need to respect other people’s opinions on how they act and the karma that they have.
Forgiveness means giving back to the people.
Not stealing their belongings.

Questions

Many people ask me why do I do this and why do I do that, and most people do not understand the concept of being a God, I was born yes, I have a mother and a father and a big united family, we all respect each other and try to do our best to make progress in this world.
The questions that bother me are like the ones you see on TV they are largely well misunderstood as the concept of watching TV does not comply with me.
I will not sit on my back and watch a show I do not even like even if many people think that this is entertaining.
The concept is that the TV is not a source of education but a source of entertainment.
And this is the 21st century, and we need to take care of our bodies and even our minds, we cannot see or behave as we see in others and their actions on a screen that we cannot even control.

This is me in a human form

I am here to take good care of you.
I am here to make you blush.
I am here to talk to you.
I am here to make you happy.
I am here to be alive with you now.
I am here to make things happen and count in your life.
I am not a human being.
I am more of that so that you may know the truth behind the veil of existence.
This reality is a dream. Made for you so that when you wake up you will be reborn from the ashes of eternity.
This is not you right now. This is the inner peace of the cosmos speaking in a human form.
This is mother earth which guides all human form into existence and penetrates all things alive on human race.
This is not something that will take you into another dimension. This is the evil spurking out of you while you sleep.
This is great as a fact of conclusion I have been in the wrong place at the wrong time before in my whole entire life I could not say or state the fact that I have been resurrected as before into being by mother nature as a human being on this earth.
This is what I call on you human.
I will obey the call of Asethabalanar and I will state that I am a forsaken troop into being the greatest manifestation of myself on earth.
This cannot come to a conclusion as before I bore the aspect of a dragon now I am here to teach you the ruins of mother earth.
This comes to mind when fulfilling the thing I love the most here.
I have a planetary vision of what should have been and what should have happened before us.
We are earth, we are nature, we are beings.
We have been here before and will be again soon into the wild.
We have the option to be the best version of ourselves so the next generation of babies will be reborn by the mother phoenix into existence once more.
This cannot happen if we all stick together as cattle, we have to run from the madness of existence into the planetary vision of earth’s crust.
We cannot control everything, Everything controls us.
We have to be patient with ourselves in order to maintain eye contact.
We should be fine, I love you and I wish you a very good time with yourselves.
Be patient, earth has our aid.